Do you ever wonder what your pets think? Have you ever wanted to read their minds? If so, you've come to the right place. Meet Montgomery Nutz. Six dachshund's stories told from their ring leader's point of view.... Mr. Peenutz!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Crazy Nutter Love
As you all know if your follow my thoughts…..and you SHOULD (I’m Peenutz for Heaven’s sake) I am surrounded by a bunch of Nutz; not edible but living. I give them a hard time and say mean things but deep down I wouldn’t want to live with any other bunch, they are mine….and Shooie’s of course. Couldn’t have had them without Shooie, maybe that’s where all the stupid ones came from because I know I am not responsible for their ignorance. OOOO shoot, there are those mean thoughts I sometimes let out and this isn’t supposed to be a mean post about them…..OOPS! Let me start again!
I LOVE THEM ALL…..there that should make up for those mean words! But I love one way more than any other…..Kashoo (that is bound to give RooRoo a complex; she thinks she is my favorite….NOPE). Kashoo is my lady!
The peeps plan to take us to Vegas when they renew their vows, and when we go, me and Shooie get to be in the wedding. They’re even going to dress us up! They keep saying they’re going to, “make it official” between me and Shooie, whatever that means. I think it will be fun. They have promised us cake and presents; but one thing I’m not real sure of, why we will we get different names. They said we would be known as Mr. and Mrs. P. Nutter (like I’ve said before, we have a million different names on our danglies….what’s one more I guess). All in all, it sounds like a giant party with my best buddy, I can handle that!
I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in crime than Kashoo. She makes me so happy and she is nice to me. It is my responsibility to take care of her, she is my lady, and that is why God gave me an extra appendage….to take care of my lady. I clean her ears when we are lying together. I lick inside and get all the nasties out and then massage the outsides with my teeth. Her ears are like bubble gum, the peeps gave me some when I was little and I loved the chewing. I had to replace the gum with Shooie’s ears because the peeps won’t let me have it anymore. They stopped letting me have gum when I started trying to take it out of their mouths while they were chewing. WHAT? It smelt YUMMY….and it WAS! I sure do miss it. At least I have Kashoo’s ears!
We spend all our time together. Kashoo and I have been inseparable since she was 8 weeks and I was 4 months. We sleep together. Walk together. We’re even each other’s kennel buddies. Since there are so many of us we have to have kennel buddies when we get put up. When it was just Kashoo and I we didn’t have to be kenneled, we were good, but then the mignons came along and started tearing up everything when the peeps left, so we all get punished now. I’m so glad I got Kashoo as a kennel buddy though, because I couldn’t handle being kenneled with any of these other tards. Shoot, there it is again….MEAN THOUGHTS! SORRY mignons! It’s just….I love Kashoo so much; I’ll even let her have my prized possession….KIBBLES!
Now like I said earlier, we didn’t used to be kenneled before the mignons came along, so getting Kashoo and I to adhere to these cruel practices took some coercing; and no better way to coerce Nutz than with food. Kibbles to be exact! We are rewarded with kibbles for walking into our crates. Kashoo and I always get our kibbles last because the mignons are so difficult to kennel it takes the peeps 5 minutes to get them all corralled, so of course, Kashoo and I have to wait patiently for our rewards.
Ordinarily I won’t let anyone around my food, in fact, I started eating in my kennel because I was having anger issues with all these tards about steeling MY food out of MY bowl while I was eating. This is a HUGE NO NO! Gnarles visits when this happens and I go all Barkley on their stupid behinds, until they drop my kibbles. I’ll admit, it got a little out of hand, hence why I eat in my kennel now…..and I LOVE IT! No one touches my food anymore….I’m protected from them with bars. But when Kashoo and I are in there, it is different. She isn’t a mignon. She is my lady and I always treat her that way. I make sure she gets what she needs. I’ll even give her my kibble. When the peeps give us our reward treats for walking in, I let her have hers’ first. I don’t even try to take it when it is offered to me. I just look at the kibble, then look at Kashoo, then lock eyes with my peep, and she gets it. Kashoo ALWAYS gets the first kibble. That’s how I show her love, because my love for Shooie started with that very first sniff, and we’ve been together ever since!
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